Guest post by FM.

Love. Passionately. originated as a pretty bookmark from Borders that FM gave to Jas for three simple reasons:

1. the bookmark was pretty
2. FM wanted to encourage Jas to read more widely, more often
3. the bookmark encapsulated FM’s ideal of love most succinctly

Admittedly, the phrase was not pasted above our mirrors to be read ten times over every morning and night. Nonetheless, on hindsight, I believed that we have lived out our unspoken maxim to the maximum we can.

When planning for the perfect proposal, my cousin Kris suggested including a personalized EZ-Link card from Singapore Mint. As each of my 12 planned gifts carried a specific, unique message of love, the EZ-Link card was themed as a follow-up to the bookmark. The picture chosen was taken in a public park in Philadelphia, and best epitomizes the spirit of the message to Love. Passionately.

(Unfortunately, the ordering process takes two weeks and more due to the holiday season, and was not to be ready in time to be one of the 12 perfect proposal gifts. Too bad. )

Friends often express awe that our relationship survived the long distance, even without any basis or background to begin with. (Three weeks from First Sight to Steady, another three weeks till our long distance separation.) I guess the best answer I can give in reply is the same old maxim: we simply loved. passionately. we can add a lot more adjectives to describe the love: unselfishly, truthfully, expressively, patiently, supportive(ly), unreserved(ly), blah, blah, blah… But sometimes, in the end, too many adjectives add too much pressure to perform up to an artificial standard that no party is comfortable with, for I believe the quality of love is different between every couple.

So, to all the couples in love out there, I leave you my two cents worth. Make light of all the specifics which you’ll likely forget after a few months of dating. Stick to loving your partner with all your heart, and the specifics will all come naturally. Just

Love. Passionately.

From: Jas
Sent: Tuesday, September 14, 2004 3:11 PM
To: FM
Subject: i cannot believe this………

Hey dear…

sobz…. today is a bad day… this whole mad rush at duke, all the work, all the tests and thus all the lack of sleep is getting to me… arghz… guess wat… the bookmark? i really really like it so much, i told u i immediately used it for my seminar book? this morning i was carrying the book in my hand on the way to french class, somehow it slipped out of the book, fell dunno where… i retraced my steps like 3, 4 times liao, cant find it… it either got picked up by someone, or it’s lying buried somewhere in the grass or something… ARGHZ! i’m so so sorry… i really dunno what happened… it just slipped out… and i like it so much… arghz…. i want it back… =..(

and worse still, i gotta lead a discussion next tues, on the first half of the book, in other words, read the book, summarise and post reading notes for the class before the class… arghz… and organic chem test is on mon!!! howhow? i need to read the chapters, do my org chem qns and practise/ revise for the test! BY MON! and the reading notes for discussion… and not to mention i need to do my maths NOW, it’s due 2mr…. arghz…. what’s wrong? y am i struggling so much??? soooooooo tired… so sleep deprived…. oh well………..

anyway, abt the bookmark, i want to get it… really, since i lost it… we’ll talk abt it when i see u online… =( sorry, i really din want that to happen… so devastated when i discovered it was missing from my book… sobz….

gotta drag myself to work…. somehow….

Stressed, tired, and sad little girl…….

i need to pull thru this!!!

From: Jas
Sent: Tuesday, September 14, 2004 4:04 PM
To: FM
Subject: twist of fate…. =)

Hey darling…

the bookmark was ALWAYS meant to be mine… my roommate was so nice, she offered to walk out with me along the path to help me look for it… =)=) and this time somehow i spotted it!!!!! yay!!! haha… now this gives me just the badly needed motivation to get my work done!

-love passionately, my work???-

heh… i can finish everything! gringrin… yup…. love ya!

ur little girl, Jas…

After the big bang on the 6th of Jan, I was left in pleasant shock and way up on cloud 9 for an entire rest of the week. (Who wouldn’t be?) Told my parents the night I came back home from Sentosa, and of course, they were delighted to learn of the news.

Then, about 2 weeks later, it was down to some serious business.

1. When to Hold the Wedding

   Obvious timeframe – within the next 2 years

   • Leaves time for planning and preparations
   • Minimal disruption to our PhD project (3rd-5th years is a definite no-no!)
   • Not way too late after our PhD when we’ll be nearing/at our 30s!

   After some consideration, we decided that next summer (’09) was a much better time. We would be able to do our planning this year before we flew off to start our grad studies, leaving only a little bit of stuff to settle over the year until we fly back prior to the actual day to tie up the loose ends.

2. Finding a Date
   FM’s parents started asking about our 8 characters (生辰八字 a.k.a. four pillars of destiny). FM’s dad knows the “feng shui” stuff and thus started looking at the auspicious dates to hold our wedding.It din take too long to decide on a date: 08 August 2009 (08.08.09). Pretty date on a Saturday, not falling in the 7th month of the Chinese calendar (Hungry Ghost festival) and FM’s dad gave the OK to both our 8 characters! Perfecto!